The FAIL Parade Continues

The original version of the bailout plan was a short three pages. It was laughable in countless ways. Hank Paulson, former chairman of one of if not THE most highly regarded investment banks in Goldman Sachs, testified to Congress that the credit crisis had snuck up at such an alarming speed that we had one week to act or we would all be swallowed alive by the Derivatives Devil in an apocalyptic catastrophe. Ben Bernanke concurred, then snored. President Bush addressed the nation and in Act II of his 'Scare Them Into Submission Then Railroad Your Plan' tragedy themed play, told us that if we didn't act immediately we would be penniless and hungry. We wouldn't be able to get loans for new shiny automobiles, or send our children to college, and our retirement accounts would be bankrupt.

Thanks to heroic bi-partisan efforts that kept congressional leaders and staffers up 'til the wee hours of Monday morning (bless their souls for the noble sacrifice) , the three pages was re-worked and stretched to one hundred and ten. Entirely new pages addressed equity stake, warrants, golden parachutes and traunches. It was a plan that both Democrats and Republicans could live with. The bailout was now a rescue.

Would the new legislation free up the frozen credit markets? Would it prevent an increasingly severe recession? People were now talking about avoiding a depression. A Depression?! Phew! That was close.

So they voted. But, surely, the vote was just a technicality. The one hundred and ten page document had been finalized. They'd worked through the messy details and agreed. We needed to act and we needed to act now. The whole world was watching. Thankfully, the vote was a done deal. It wouldn't go to the floor if they didn't have the votes... right?

Wrong.

206 votes Yea
227 votes Nay

The Nay's have it.

I'm not smart enough to know whether the bill was a good one or not (if I had to guess, I'd say it's a bad idea) but one thing is crystal clear, in an evironment where confidence and stability are needed like oxygen, our fearless leaders have outdone themselves in proving that they are completely and totally incompetent. YOU DON'T TAKE THIS BILL TO THE FLOOR WITHOUT THE NECESSARY VOTES TO PASS IT YOU FUCKING DONKEYS (and elephants)! In what will probably go down as one of the most epic legislative blunders in U.S. history, the partisan poo-flinging continues.

DOW -777, Nasdaq -199, S&P -106
$1.2 trillion in "market value" wiped away in an afternoon.

And the crude oil traders even sold off the one thing of real world value. Light sweet crude closed down 10%.

Oh and by the way, five more names were added to the Killed In Action list: (The governments of Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg took partial control of Fortis. Britian seized Bradford & Bingley. Germany bailed out Hypo. Iceland's government took over Glitnir, and Citi swallowed Wachovia)

Happy Monday!